nicegrrly (nicegrrly) wrote,

limiting myself..

so Im finally ALMOST AWAKE! Im sucha old lady i need a good 8 hrs.. i strolled in at 2. *yawns* oh for a nap. I think I could sit here and nap sitting in this chair, an office chair.. is that sick or what.. yah so KK kicked my ass last night... 3 shots later I was flirting with this new Matt kid, the one i mentioned earlier..
I did bring LoLa over to see Cholo.. hes sucha bad dog its not even funny. HA its sooo ADHD!! Lola showed him what was up thats forsure. Its sooo weird tho, I really need to get back in the swing of things... start going out again, stop sleepin sooo much.. stop allowing myself to be sooo exhausted.. Ya i have more stress then most but I can get thru it.. i always do!Most would say I allow myself to get this stressed... allowing people like matt.. like tonie.. like ian, to come into my life.. But u know what Ive learned sooo much from all of them, I think people who actually STRUGGLE u can learn soo much more from. Its from experience, from tragity.. Tonies leaving and at one second Im like thank god, i cant have her sooo in my life, But at the next Ill really miss the bitch. She does some crazy odd things.. "my roomies a crackhead" -- siding with her brother.. etc.. it happens. I still question her daily n really wonder where her head is and where her heart is most of all..I think its in a great place she just REALLY needs a guy to come in her life or even a girl.. and be like im strong for MYSELF and im gonna show u how strong u can be for urself, by loving u. Its unreal and cheesy as that sounds, but i wasnt strong enough to keep us both afloat.. which is alright.. its Not a bad thing what-so-ever
shes a girl u bring to parties and some are scared of, some just think shes a bitch.. she questions people in whole other ways that the "average eye" would never even think about questioning.. she is VERY stuck in her ways like myself.. But even more so, even if she knows shes right, she talks HERSELF into believing shes right. Its histarical!!!
i FINALLY feel like I am getting to a pt where I do know more, and I AM getting back on the track i was in NYC.. FINALLY! My roommate hates me right now.. my dogs a yip.. im a messy slob.. n i let the EX roommate stay over.. which i understand might be a No-no but what was i supposed to do.. I couldnt drive her home, and shes not gonna do anything harmful.. shes sleeping till i get off from job 1. I can UNDERSTAND y she would be worried, but i do feel as tho, once she hates someone she always is gonna hate them... and thats crap to me.. people change.. what if u got a first bad impression.. people arent flawless, I guess I would hope people wouldnt judge me from square one.. thats why i give chances.. adn then there is this live linx boy.. hes nice i talk to him, but at this pt its like her n i fighting over him.. i really dont care. all im saying is him n i talked first dont tell him to ignore me.. cuz of YOUR insecurities.. thats just weird to me. talk to ME not behind my back.. and to a guy we dont even know.. who lies.. has 12 other girls.. there is nothign good to him, but attention when he feels like giving it.. I just dont like being second to a stranger.. This roommate thing might take ALOT of work.. bring it on
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